Every second person I know, claims to have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). The thing is, they always say it in this offhanded, unapologetic fashion like you're expected to forgive them for not listening to a word you just said simply because they happen to have a fancy disorder. Now, I'm a big fan of fancy disorders but what I will not accept is a fake disorder. Because that's what ADD is - it's good old-fashioned absent-mindedness masquerading as a mental condition and it pisses me off. All I'm saying is, if you're going to hide behind a disorder and expect me to put up with your crazies, the least you can do, is be a man about it and get yourself a respectable condition like Schizophrenia, Bipolar or Manic Depression. Everything else is for wimps.
And it's not funny how many different situations people try to get out of using ADD as an excuse - During an important conversation: 'Sorry, what were you saying? I spaced out! ADD, man!' While watching a movie or TV show: 'Sorry, I'm just going to rewind this bit, I lost track. This ADD, I tell you!' In a relationshippy fight: 'Baby, that's not fair. You know I have ADD. I just can't remember these things (basically, anything), they just don't register.' I could go on and on.
This is particularly frustrating for me, because what I have is the opposite of ADD. It's this unfashionable thing called focus. And believe me, it has only made my life difficult. Because I actually listen when people talk. And then I think about what they said. Which then leads me to remember it. You see how this is a problem? Not only am I always the one to switch off the heater and remind you about your mom's birthday and your appointments with the doctor, I'm also always in the immensely frustrating position of remembering every detail of everything that's ever happened since we met and not using it against you in an argument.
But that's just the small stuff. My ability to focus gets particularly intense when I fall in love - be it with work, a hobby, a TV show or an actual person. At work, it makes me a bit of a demanding, nit-picky bitch (which is why I've never been able to be a team player, always preferring to work alone). Also, I'm not a multi-tasker, I'm a uni-tasker (oh, yes, it's a real thing). Which, needless to say, makes me a very undesirable candidate for any corporate job.
With TV shows (or any addictive fictional world for that matter), I get so irrationally involved with the story and the characters, that I can't help but pull it apart episode by episode, scrutinize every detail - what was right with it, what was wrong with it, what should/could/ought to happen next - thereby diminishing the joy I could have experienced as a casual viewer. Not to mention that awful, sinking feeling that takes over when I'm done focusing on that world and snap back into reality.
And when it comes to relationships, falling in love is my only option and getting there isn't easy either - because it has to have a strong foundation of friendship. You see, I cannot flirt to save my life. Meaning, I don't know how to keep things breezy and exciting. I get intense and totally freak the guy out. So I don't even pretend I can do it anymore. You see how this narrows my options? I can only do friendships or relationships. My particular type of focus does not recognize anything in between (anything casual, that is) as worth the effort. But let's say I do find this unsuspecting guy who gets into a relationship with me - even then, my focus will get in the way. Because unlike most normal people in relationships, I find it impossible to scatter my attention on other men when I'm already involved with one. And while I understand that this is my problem and it is not the guy's fault if he did the occasional flirting with other women or I don't know, the N number of things that he could do that I wouldn't, I would still end up feeling short-changed. And no, I'm not a freak who will blame him even in my secret heart or take it out on him in any way, but I will be the one who suffers for it and I will suffer alone. This sucks.
SO. Since I've established that being the focused one in this 140-characters-only era (where flakiness is rampant and ADD is cool) sucks immensely, can we all please agree that we, the focused ones, are the ones who deserve a fancy disorder, please? I mean, check it out: a) we are clearly outnumbered b) often socially awkward and c) no one thinks we're cool. I'm sorry, but those are clear grounds for our problem to qualify as some kind of fancy neurological condition. Like, Manic Focus Hyper Absorption Disorder.
Or something else, maybe. Something that sounds badass and supports your watching-3-seasons-in-3-days habit.